Thursday, April 20, 2006

Horton Hears a Hu

Ok, I'm taking my name out of the running for King of the World.
While I still think I would be the best King that the world has ever seen, I fear that I would spend far too much of my time laughing and far too little of my time kinging.

For example, did you see this picture?
This is a picture of the special "Uranium Enrichment Pageant" that they held in Iran when they'd successfully pulled off the enrichment of uranium. See the dancers holding the representative enriched uranium rods? See the fake flying doves holding the Iranian flag on the special banner? It's all very touching and special, I suppose, but if they'd invited his majesty the Idiot to their special homage to weapons grade radioactivity, there's an excellent choice that I would have launched into a giggle fit as soon as they brought out the radioactive dance troupe, which is probably not good for international relations.

The other example is this Hú Jintāo fellow, the current President of the People's Republic of China and General Secretary of the Communist Party of China. He's currently at the White House meeting with our lovely and charming and idiotic President. I'm glad I'm not there, because I would of course have to poll the room several times;

Village Idiot: "Ok, talking about greenhouse gases now people, I gotta ask, is it that big a deal? Ok, let's do this... raise your hand if you give a shit about greenhouse gases."
(Hu Jintao, the current President of the People's Republic of China and General Secretary of the Communist Party of China, raises his hand).
Village Idiot: "Yeah, just as I suspected, Hu gives a shit!"

and more dumb jokes would no doubt follow....Hu's on first... Hu dunnit...Hu farted....Hu are you kidding?.....Hu do you you think you are?.... Screw Hu and the horse he rode in on .....and so on until he storms out and gives the command to launch the missiles.

I would probably have the Who's "Who Are You?" stuck in my head the whole time, especially the "hu-hu, hu-hu" part, and looking at him, Ol' Hu doesn't seem to be the kinda guy hu would think I'm very funny.

So, it's probably for the best that I'm taking my hat out of the ring and leaving the running of the world to far greater minds, like Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld.


Pacific College Mom said...

say it ain't so!!!!

how can i be your devoted slave then?


lime said...

yeah, despots aren't known for their sense of humor. i'd vote for ya anyway

Lesser_Lumpkin said...

Now this is a very sad turn of events. The world is sure to go to heck in a hand basket now. You've left me with only one major nagging question in regards to your withdrawl. Hu will be writing your concesion speach and when will you be giving it?

The Lumpy

Marti said...

Hu have to be kidding LOL

I’m still fighting WordPress at the new blog, but decided I needed to swing by blogroll buddies and say howdy!

Hope you have a terrific weekend - the weather in the KC area is spectacular!

Weary Hag said...

Every time they made an announcement on TV regarding "President Hu's" visit this week ... it felt like a free-for-all in jokeland at our house. How can it be helped?

Loved the post ... hate the fact that you've pulled yourself from the race.

I wonder if he hollers out during sex "Hu's your daddy?" Just a thought. A very VERY troubling thought.

Badaunt said...

A very unfortunate name for a world leader, but oh, what fun!

I keep waiting for Japan to elect a Prime Minister Fukui, just for the fun of hearing them mispronounce it on CNN. Koizumi is SO boring. (Except for the perm, which is always good for a cheap laugh.)

BeckEye said...

The NY Daily News Headline recently was "Boo Hu." That is one of the worst papers anywhere on Earth.

oregoncelticlady said...

Noooooooo! We will fight for our right to have you for king!!!