Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Hurricane Hall of Fame

Did you see this story?

They are retiring the names of five hurricanes, which is, I suppose, akin to being elected to the hurricane Hall of Fame. I mean, major league baseball retired Jackie Robinson's number, the Celtics retired Larry Bird's jersey, and the World Meteorological Organization retired Wilma.

Here's the part of the story that interested me:
Each of the retired names is replaced by a name that starts with the same letter, so Dennis was retired and will be replaced by Don, Katrina will be replaced by Katia, Rita by Rina, Stan by Sean and Wilma by Whitney.

I totally need to be on the committee that picks the new name. I mean, Hurricane Sean? Hurricane Whitney? Please! Those are so boring!

Where's Puddin'? Pea-Eye? Dimwit? Fartknocker? Wouldn't you rather have your town leveled by Tropical Storm Mr. T than by something wimpy like Alvin? If your house was destroyed by Hurricane Buttmunch, you could at least take solace in the fact that the name made you grin at least once.

Some more fascinating stuff about the hurricane Hall of Fame;
Some 67 names have been retired since storms were first named in 1953. The first to be dropped, in 1954, were Carol and Hazel. Last year's five is the most retired in a single year.

This year's hurricane names will be: Alberto, Beryl, Chris, Debby, Ernesto, Florence, Gordon, Helene, Isaac, Joyce, Kirk, Leslie, Michael, Nadine, Oscar, Patty, Rafael, Sandy, Tony, Valerie, William.

Hurricane Debby? Give me a break. When I'm king, we'll have some real names.
If that number of names suffices.


lime said...

oscar and tony are good names. oscar being a grouch and all. tony conjuring images of a beefy italian guy who might shake you down for payment. which bringsd to mind another name....guido or sal. how about bertha? or hilda? they sound liek women who coudl knock you into next week if yousass them. i'm just saying...

Logophile said...

How about Chamiqua, I think that list is racially skewed.
But I do like Buttmunch too.

Sassy said...

Hurricane Fuckupyourlife. I like that one.

Weary Hag said...

So you're telling me there will never again be a Hurricane Carol? No fair. Then too ... I suppose there's some truth, after all, in my credo of the past 50 years which was "Hell hath no fury as a Carol scorned."

I think Tony is the BEST hurricane name, but only if you put a Brooklynese-spin on it. "Yo To-NEE ... How YOU doin?"