Abba-solute Power!

I was browsing the headlines, being the newshound that I am, and found this story:


All I have to say is that it's about time! I mean, Abba was a supergroup that wrote all those great hits! Who better to settle hamas problems than the group that gave us Fernando and Take a Chance on Me?

I also agree that it's high time that we establish some hamas boundaries so I'm glad to see that Abba is playing hardball and establishing a firm deadline. I often find that the local grocery's hamas is a little light on the tahini and lemon juice and they overcompensate by using too much paprika. Some standards will be a most welcome change.

I really hope that that they deal with the spelling issue too. I mean, I've seen hummus, Χούμους, houmous, hommus, humus and now hamas! It's all the same thing people! How many ways do we need to spell it, it's a frickin chick pea dip!

So, as I said, I'm glad to see that someone has finally given Abba some power and that we're finally addressing the real issues of modern life.

Drunken American Idol

For those of you who've not been scoring at home, or for those of you not reading this blog, Blog Artiste Hanni has been holding a contest in which we rabble scum can choose the drink she drinks whilst watching tonight's American Idol Finale. Each week for eight weeks, readers got to vote, and the drink with the fewest votes each week got kicked off until there was only one standing.

The drink that sounded the most dangerous to me was called Stephanie's Coke Lobster, because it mixed two liquors as well as cranberry juice and coke. I figured that this combo would make the poor girl do weird things and then throw up, which would no doubt amuse us all. I quickly became a champion of this drink, and in the end it prevailed.

Somehow, as is normal for me, I got wrapped up in the excitement of the contest and volunteered to drink whatever drink won along with Hanni. Though we're a bazillion miles apart and I don't give a rat's ass about American Idol, a party is a party and I'm down with Stephanie's Coke Lobster, (which, it turns out, is just a Rock Lobster with Coke in it).

I went out and bought the ingredients:

To play this at home you'll need some Crown Royal (though any blended whiskey will do) and some Chambord, which is a raspberry liquor which I had to try a shot of. It's VERY tasty.
Hanni has a full recipe up on her current post about tonight's American Idol festivities.

I've mixed up the first Rock Lobster and am suitably impressed, it's red, it's tasty and it goes down easy. If I drink enough of these I may soon start to care about American Idol, and if I keep drinking after that I'll probably try out for American Idol.


Since the Yankees are playing the Sox tonight, the closest I'll get to watching Idol might be the occasional check in between innings. I will admit that I've gotten to like the first couple of weeks of each American Idol season, and this year I even watched it a bit. There's something cruelly entertaining about the hundreds of people who can't sing and yet audition for the show anyhow, especially when they get mad at being told that they can't sing. I liked the gray haired guy from way back then, and the girl that's still in it was nice enough to show America her underwear with a wardrobe malfunction, so I should probably tune in for just a few minutes just to see how it all comes out. I mean, if I don't see it live I'll probably wonder who won as I doubt the world's news agencies will cover something trifling like a TV talent show when there are wars being waged and such!

So there you have it, Me, Rock Lobsters and the Red Sox. Mrs. Idiot is on the fence as to whether she'll participate, so I've made a drink for Wally. She did, however, promise that she'll update the blog should I get too out of hand and do stupid stuff.

There you have it Hanni, have fun, be safe, and Cheers!

Quick, Go Vote Now!

My Blogger friend Hanni is having a contest to decide what she'll drink while watching the American Idol Finale. Foolishly, I've agreed to drink it too, Chez Idiot. I'm rooting for the Lobster Drink, and right now the vote is a tie. Go vote for the lobstah, on the right side of her webpage. Voting ends tonight, so do it now!

Bling From the King

It's time for me to get this campaign for king thing moving again, and this time, just to show you I'm serious, I'm starting with these little logo thingys for people's websites.

Once the donations start rolling in I'll make up some stickers and t-shirts and stuff. My plan is to spread these icons all over the place so that pretty soon everyone is asking "What the hell is that?" (I think I may have gotten the idea from Turk 182, but I saw that so long ago it's kind of hazy, so instead I'll say I got it from Bon Jovi).

Since y'all are in on the ground floor, you know that it means you want me as your king. (get it? Village Idiot=V.I.=VI=Roman numeral for 6?) Clever eh?

Free Idiot Art, getcher free idiot art here, get it while it's hot. Put one on your webpage and link it to here. We'll start the revolution one blog at a time.

Pick whichever one you like. Let me know where it winds up and I'll link back to your site too.

The King Is Back

That's it, the gloves are off and my hat is back in the ring.

Yes, that's right, I'm firing up my campaign for king of the world again, and we can all thank Paris Hilton for it.

You've heard of her, right? Rich heiress? Tall, skinny blonde dumb bimbo?



For a long time, I just didn't "get" her. I mean, she's really not attractive at all. She looks like a bird. She obviously doesn't have a brain in her head.

Then I realized her penchant for getting drunk and screwing things up in public, and I saw at last her entertainment value as a clown. I mean really, she's NOT hot, NOT smart, just egotistical, rich, drunk, mean and stupid- the perfect combination of things to bring on and then exacerbate a really amusing downfall. Am I right? The most awesome thing about Paris is that she actually thinks we're laughing with her!

Apparently, last night, she and some rich idiot that no one has ever heard of, launched a diatribe against Lindsay Lohan in public. There's a video of it here, though I warn you, the drunken young man's language is quite salty.(It's all bleeped, and truly reveals what a pair of morons we're dealing with). As the website says, brilliantly, I might add, the young man who is with Paris is "best known for his drunk driving arrest."

Nice, very nice.

So here's the new campaign platform.
In the Idiot's new world order: If you are very rich, that's fine, and it's even encouraged, but if you didn't earn the money yourself then you have only a few choices as to how you will live your life;
a) quietly, without bothering the rest of us.
b) philanthropically, giving a lot of your money to worthy charities, which gives you the right to go out and make an ass of yourself in public.
c) as a clown. If you want to be the rich jet-setter like Paris and her idiot boyfriend, (he's the grandson of an oil baron), you are in fact agreeing to let us use you and your image for whatever goofy crap we feel like putting you through. I think it would be horrendously entertaining to put these two idiots through a few rounds of Fear Factor stunts, and then maybe make them wear superhero costumes for a year.
d) with class. This is kind of A and B combined, but if you have class and dignity, I'm ok with you spending Grampa's Billions and expressing your opinion. I mean, the Kennedy's tend to get a little clownish, but at least they've got class.

Brandon Davis, grandson of a billionaire and seemingly a world-class pisswit.

Here's an example of class-less: In the video, Paris' boy says of Lindsay Lohan: "I think she's worth about seven million (dollars), which means she's really poor. It's disgusting. She lives in a motel."

Indeed, Tubby, you're right. But at least SHE earned her money. Now, shall we look for the Husky Boy section to get you your Assman Costume?

..there's gonna be a floody-floody...

If you've been following the news then you already know that the weather here in New Hampshire got a little extreme over the weekend.

The Idiot family and all of its collective crap came out unscathed, though we had to suffer the indignity of having our road closed for a couple of days due to high water across it and the fact that the road it connects to washed out. (This made life especially interesting for our friends who were visiting from away, especially since they had to get to an airport to fly back to the rat race in the middle of it).

I want to give a special shout out to the emergency workers in New Hampshire. We had firemen on the doorsteps of all the homes in our neighborhood three different times to keep us informed as to what was going on and to offer us help should we need it. Y'all did a great job and we thank you.

This Bud's For... a Player to be Named Later

A friend of mine sent me this list of recent minor league player transactions. Check out the one that's highlighted. (Click on the image to see one that's big enough to actually read).

Pickled Hanni

One of my favorite Bloggers, Hanni, is having a contest. She started with a list of drinks, and each week she lets us vote one off, just like American Idol. She will drink whatever we finally vote on at an American Idol finale party and post pictures of all the stupid things she does.

As I'm all in favor of drunken stupidity, here's a link to her voting thingy.


Personally, I'm pushing for the Lobster Drink because it sounds more alcoholly than the others, which could lead to both freak dancing and vomiting. Cast your vote today!

How Sweet It Is

The Sox beat the Yankees last night 14-3. The best part was that the Yankees gave up six unearned runs on errors and wild pitches, including two by A-Rod and a dropped fly ball by right-fielder Melky Cabrera.

Yes, his name is Melky.

Recommended Reading

One of my favorite bloggers, Badaunt, shared the following link in her comment about poor Fluffy X's wounded hiney. Having read her blog regularly for a year, I knew that if Badaunt recommended it, it would be awesome, and it was.

Go here, and read this little story.