Thursday, May 04, 2006

Fluffy Rethinks that Jihad Idea

Those of you who have been reading about the adventures of our cat Fluffy will remember that several months ago he cast off his slave name, then launched a jihad.

Well, there have been updates in the ongoing struggles of Fluffy.

Some of you might even remember Fluffy's arch nemesis, the neighbor's cat Leo.

A couple of months ago, our other cat, Toby, came in with his ear bleeding profusely. Being good cat owners, we ignored it and hoped like hell that it didn't get infected and start to smell. Toby, being a good cat, ignored it too and the thing healed nicely. Toby was left with a massive notch in his ear and a rather impressive scar that I'm sure he makes the most of when he goes drinking with the boys or whatever it is that cats do for fun.

A few weeks after that, Mrs. Idiot took the cats to the vet for their annual check-up. The vet noticed Toby's ear and was duly impressed by the scar.
"We dunno how he got it," said Mrs. Idiot, "we think probably Leo got him."

Now, Idiotville, which we now call "Redbud" (after the Chevy Chase movie Funny Farm), is a large town or small city depending on your view, but sometimes it's freakishly small.

"Leo?" the vet asked, "big orange cat?"

Well, Mrs. Idiot was appropriately stunned that the vet not only knows Leo, the neighbor's cat, but also treats him and also treats a number of his victims. (Like One Eye McGillacutty down the street).

So, with mighty Leo camped out on our deck as much as possible (or cunningly camped under a tree just out of reach of Buttercup's tether), our brave Fluffy X has been running his jihad since February from the comfort and safety of the younger one's bed.

A couple of weeks ago, he snuck out to go to the bathroom and apparently met up with Leo, because there was a hellacious caterwauling from the front yard and then a loud thud at out door, which we think may have been the brave Fluffy trying to ram his way back in. When we finally did let him in, he was a mess, with a pretty substantial amount of blood coming from the base of his tail.

Being good cat owners, we looked him over, decided he was more or less ok, and tried to ignore it, hoping it wouldn't get infected and smell. Sadly, our hopes were dashed.

I should note here that this is the second time that Fluffy has come home with a wound that got infected and required a trip to the vet. I tried to ignore that first wound too, even when various members of the idiot family volunteered, independently I might add, that "the cat's head smells like ass, dad." Poor Fluffy spent week after that with half his head shaved and a drainage tube sticking out of it. He also got to wrestle with me twice a day as I attempted to jam droppers full of anti-biotics down his throat.

Well, Mrs. Idiot, having learned from the previous episode, took Fluffy to the vet before the smell set in this time, because it became clear that the wound simply wasn't healing.

The vet was impressed and promptly shaved him down, evaluated his wound and gave us more antibiotics to give him. If we're lucky, and I'm sure we will be, we get to take him back and have them give him a drainage tube again.

Our brave warrior, wounded on the ass.


goddess said...

That made me laugh so hard I cried! Hope your cat is doing better and isn't stinking you out of house and home.

Jodes said...

silly cats

Badaunt said...

Poor Fluffy.

Your memorable last line reminded me of this. Things COULD BE WORSE.

lime said...

that sounds like more fun that anyone really deserves. wrestling a shaved, ass-smelling , battered cat into taking drugs......good times, good times

Anonymous said...

You really do have more fun than anyone I know! How about putting some kind of trap out for Leo? I think Leo needs to be taught a lesson...

Chuck said...

I think it would be hilarious if your neighbor's were readers of this blog and learned that their family cat was a sinister neighborhood bully.
I attempted to contact your neighbor but each time I type 'Idiotville' into Mapquest, it brings up a map of Washington, D.C.

Belle-ah said...

Cats and jihad...the perfect combination! Thanks for the laugh.