I was busy preparing the opening salvo of my campaign for king of the world when I was derailed by interesting articles in the news. I suspect that these stories were planted in the newspapers by established governments simply to distract me from my task, but hey, the stories are entertaining, so it's one of those freakish Steven Covey win-win deals.
First, a story from Idaho of all places.
BOISE, Idaho (Reuters) - An Idaho strip club that attempted to get around a ban on full nudity by giving patrons sketch pads for special "art nights" was cited for violating the city's nudity rules, officials said on Tuesday.
Ok, the guy that thought up that idea will get a primo cabinet position in my government. That's genius.
Next up, a story I think we can all relate to.
Waverly, Iowa (USA Today) - Officials closed an elementary school for the rest of the school year because of a persistent foul odor. It's the second time in four months that the West Cedar Elementary School has been closed.
Having spent a lot of time in classrooms, I gotta say that that must have been one whopper of a smell. I've been witness to student-produced smells that could peel paint and never even got an early dismissal out of it.
Finally, this one
NEW YORK (Reuters) - A Chinese food delivery man was found trapped in a broken elevator on Tuesday, more than three days after he was reported missing, police said.
The Village Idiot is proud to announce that he turned down several tasteless joke ideas, the best of which was that the poor guy kept looking for the "w" button to get to wobby. Instead, he merely points out that the poor delivery man had to go hungry for all but the first half hour of his time in the elevator.