The Pope died, which means I actually had to do some research on all things Papal, because the Pope and all the things Papal was a pretty hot topic. After many many hours of research, it turns out that:
-Yes, the Pope in fact was Catholic.
-None of the Papal Wonks who are making lists of possible successors has me even in the top ten!
In the course of my in-depth research, I came across the following poorly-phrased headline on Yahoo!

Yikes!
It turns out that when they said "moved" they didn't mean it moved by itself, which would either be creepy or a miracle or both.
I'll be back soon with that campaign platform, I promise.
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