Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Gotta Get Me Some 'Roids

For a long time, I figured that the only "Roid Rage" we'd suffer at Chez Idiot would result from hemorrhoids not steroids, but having caught a segment of actual television news last night, I might have to go out and get me some of them steroids.

I've known for a long time that steroids could help me develop the buns of steel I've been cultivating all these years, but I'm happy enough with my current rigorous program of sitting/napping/ and stretching that the benefits of steroid use didn't seem so great. (I'm going with arteriosclerosis as my bodybuilding program, I'm on schedule to have buns, arteries and abs of steel by 2017, assuming the couch holds up).

Anyhoo, last night, in the middle of my nap/workout, I heard on the news that Kenny Rogers pushed a cameraman around before a baseball game a couple of weeks ago. "Big deal," thought I, "who hasn't slapped the paparazzi at some point?"

Out of curiosity, I looked up at the tv to see how The Gambler looks these days and I'll be damned if he doesn't look like a whole different guy. It turns out that he was at the baseball game to PLAY, not to sing! The Kenny Rogers of my youth was a paunchy country singer of cheesey ballads. The guy on tv is an all-star pitcher.

Holy Crap, those steriods really DO work!

How Else Can This Be Explained?

1 comment:

RedWolf said...

Oh!!!!! I saw that headline scrolling across the bottom of FoxNews the other day at work, and I was really confused. I didn't peg the C/W singer Kenny Rogers as the type to attack a cameraman -- Russell Crow, yes; Kenny Rogers, no. :-) I'm glad you clarified that. See now, that type of information providing is exactly why you have my vote for King of the World!