Friday, July 01, 2005

That's me, to the left of the big toe

Last week we bought a kayak.

As I'm an idiot and have no previous kayaking experience, Mrs. Village Idiot called our life insurance guy, doubled my coverage, and sent me out to the river with her blessing.

Then, for my maiden voyage, she followed with the camera.
"Just to heckle," she said.

"Cool," thought I, "action pictures of the Village Idiot tackling the massive rapids."

Here's the results:

Our cat wanders the woods. She captured his entire journey on film, so there are perhaps ten more of him. Some further, some closer. Note that the shot does not include an idiot flailing about in a kayak. The other shots of our cat's meanderings are similarly sans flailing idiot.

My Favorite Series from that day:

Mrs. Village Idiot's feet. Note, again, the crucial kayaking element seems to be missing. Apparently, she's witnessed my bumbling idiocy enough over the years so that my desperate efforts to flog the river into submission with a purple kayak paddle just to the left of her feet didn't warrant any camera time.

Maybe, if I can get my hands on a cool craft like a space shuttle or a Diet Coke truck, she'll let me into the picture.

6 comments:

Chuck said...

Hilarious!

Badaunt said...

Well, naturally. If there is a cat around, no human can compete. What did you expect?

And obviously she has very INTERESTING feet. (Or something.)

Y.C. Tape said...

You know the 2 best days of your life are the day you buy a boat a the day you sell your boat....any kind of boat!

The Village Idiot said...

Hmmmm, I don't think so.

I rated the boat buying day a 6 out of ten because it was stressful trying to get the boat home and we mis-placed one of our children for a few hours that day.

Yesterday, on the other hand, was an 11 out of ten because of the weather, my awesome family, the grilled meat, the evening's fireworks and the fact I was able to correctly guess, to the exact minute, how long it would take us to get from parked at the fireworks to home. (17 minutes).

So clearly, that addage about the boat is flawed in some way. I think it might apply only to boats that go on trailers.

Ky Reader said...

All very fascinating stuff; however, after reading the comments on your previous posting, there can be only one pertinent observation/question: how do I meet The Dating Doctor ?

The Village Idiot said...

Dear KY Reader,

You need to get a bad case of loving you.

Sincerely,
The Idiot