I just saw the cover of this week's Time Magazine and the news is far, far worse than I thought. I rushed home to warn you all of the impending danger. Apparently, it's not soldiers that are peeing on Koreans down in Cuba, it's a gremlin named Gitmo.
I know about him because a few years ago I saw an awesome documentary about these gremlin things, they're all cute and cuddly until you feed them or something then they turn into hideous beasts. There are a couple of other things that can transform them too, but I can't remember what they are. Something must have transformed Gitmo, though, because peeing on Koreans is definitely not something he would do in his cute phase!
I'm going to Blockbuster to see if they have that movie, I'm pretty sure it was called The Goonies or something like that. I only hope it will tell us how to change them back to the cute and cuddly gremlins before it's too late!