Timing Is Everything.

I think I've started the Campaign for King at the exact right time in world history:

1) Blog Space is cheap. I mean, if it cost me anything to produce this crap week in and week out, you know I'd have folded up the old tent and gone back to watching Roseanne re-runs a long time ago.

2) The world's political climate might be ripe for the picking. There could be enough political, social and economic unrest here and abroad to inspire people that these are desperate times. I don't actually know this, which is why I used words like "might" and "could". I don't actually read the news, especially foreign news. (Unless the case of the girl missing in Aruba counts as foreign news. I read about that case because I've been to Aruba and long ago predicted that it would only be a matter of time before the Arubans throw off their "One Happy Island" schtick and kill all the white people. I also saw that the missing girl's dad's name was "Jug Twitty", and kept reading hoping to find more colorful Alabaman names).

3) Our politicians are complete idiots.
I've been convinced that our current President is a dumbass for quite some time. Unlike a lot of people, however, I'm ok with that. The U.S. has had quite a few Presidents of limited intelligence and they've done just fine because of the whole "checks and balances" thing you studied in your social studies class. (Unless you're a foreigner reading this and you studied it in your "What those &%$#*@? Americans do for government" class).

So here we go into the 2004 elections and it's clear we have President Boob versus "Intellectual Democrat War Hero Guy". Or, as some might see it, "W versus the Devil". Whatever.

My question is this: How did the Republicans not know about this picture?



Had I been running W's campaign I would have used this picture A LOT. Being an extremely superficial follower of politics, exactly the kind of fickle voter that struck terror into the hearts of the Founding Fathers, I would have voted for anyone who could promise that they would take this picture away before it gives me nightmares.

Also, it turns out that John Kerry's college grades when averaged, were one point lower than George Bush's, and that both of them were in the "C" range.

My college grades were horrible, so I'm running for King.