Monday, June 06, 2005

Why are we peeing on Koreans?

I was very surprised to hear that our U.S. soldiers were peeing on Koreans down in Cuba. I mean, the mind reels at that one. Why are there Koreans in Cuba? Why are we peeing on them?

It occurred to me that I might not know as much about world politics as I thought I did. I mean, I know that North Korea has a hard-ass little guy in charge, and that he keeps threatening to build nuclear weapons and then use them to blow things up. I’ve always suspected that he’s just bored because he lives in the sticks, (i.e. North Korea) and is amusing himself. After all, ranting and raving about nuclear weapons A) scares the crap out of the neighbors and B) is always good for a laugh because the American president always messes up and says “nook-u-lar” and C) is a good way to fill the time until the major Korean networks come up with a Tommy Hilfiger reality show of their very own.

But still, peeing on them?

It occurred to me that this might make sense if it were actually happening in Korea, you know, where they have an actual border. Maybe they have contests to see who can stand the furthest away from North Korea and still pee on it. Peeing on Koreans in Cuba, though, didn’t make any sense.

Yes, you know what happened. I did a little reading and found out that it was one poor Korean we’ve been peeing on, and his name is apparently Qur’an or Quraan or something. Why we’ve singled out this particular guy (gal?) I don’t know. I think it has something to do with a book he (she?) has written. As a reader, I can get on board with this because there are many, many bad novels out there whose authors deserve some form of punishment. Personally, I wouldn’t have thought of this one, but I’m sure it will make hack authors think twice before using passive verbs or trite and common plot devices again.

Personally, I think the line should start right here:

3 comments:

Sparkling said...

Loved your twist on this one!
Thanks for making me laugh.

Badaunt said...

HA! So I'm not the only person who read this story too early in the morning and did a double-take.

There should be a word for this. We have typo for when we make a typing mistake. What do you call it when you read it wrong. A reado? (I always read 'uniformed police' as 'uninformed police,' but it never makes much difference to the story.)

Anonymous said...

Never mind .