I learned so much about Merkel's haircut, I read more news and learned that all kinds of crazy things are going on in Washington.
Apparently, there was a guy in Washington named Tom Delay, and he not only got elected to Congress, he was able to wrangle himself into a genuine big-shot position. Now he's in trouble for something or other. Heck, I coulda told ya that it'd come to no good, I mean, who elects a guy named DELAY?
You know that way back when, some ancestor of this guy was always frigging around and generally getting in the way of everyone else so they stuck the name Delay on him. I mean, family names get given for a reason, which is why I'm so proud of my family name, Asswipes, which my mother told me is Swedish for "really really smart."
Would you elect a Crook? How about a Dumbass? A Nosepicker? A Humperdink? I mean, I might elect a few of 'em just to get a laugh out of hearing the newscasters talk about them, but once they get to Washington they're done climbing the power ladder. You can't cause too much damage if you're a lowly representative, and every two years they're back out on the street. What were they thinking giving Delay any power?
See, when I'm elected king that will put a stop to Delays in Government, we'll have genuine honest Asswipes in place, just as we should.