This morning, whilst shaving, I looked down to find that the cat was chewing on my toothbrush. The bristles. He was having a hell of time, gnawing away, making that “I’m a cat and I’m having a hell of time chewing on this thing” sound that cats make. I don’t know if he was drawn by the minty fresh Crest™ flavor or if he felt that his plaque build-up was getting him down, but he was definitely going to town on the business end of my Reach™ Opus V or whatever the hell that brush was.
Yes, whatever that brush “was”.
I don’t care if four out of five dentists say I could keep using that brush, it’s already gone. And I don’t want to know how long ago the Idiot Cat discovered the joys of oral hygiene, or at least discovered the joys of chewing on my damned tooth brush.
The problem is that the Reach™ Magnum Opus’ handle is too big for the hole in the top of the fancy toothbrush holder in the master bath. The holder could accommodate several toothbrushes, and in fact holds three (it never occurred to me until just now to wonder why there are three toothbrushes in the master bathroom toothbrush holder). Two of the three brushes fit into the holes and sit low in the cup as they should, safe from marauding cats. My brush, or I should say “my former brush”, the Rolls Royce of the toothbrush world, didn’t fit into the hole at all. In fact, just the very end of the handle fit into the hole, leaving the rest of the brush waving proudly in space and its poor bristles vulnerable to illicit mastication by any passing animal. Great.
I should also mention that in the ensuing melee of rescuing my brush (my former brush) from the cat, I kind of forgot to finish shaving. Yes, it looks like I’m wearing “the patch” on my neck. I guess I’ll tell people I’m trying to give up hair.