Tuesday, August 16, 2005

America's New Obsession

It's official, I've started a craze. This past weekend, chums came all the way from Cincinnati, Ohio just to go drinking with the Idiot.

[Editor's Note: Actually, they came to visit with the family, perhaps do a little shopping, and explore New Hampshire in general. Because he is an Idiot, we allow him to think what he wants to, until we absolutely have to spend the effort required to make him see the truth. In this case, it simply wasn't worth it].

So, on Saturday, the womens went shopping and the boys went drinking. All of the bars are in Portsmouth, NH

Bar #6- The Portsmouth Brewery- One of my favorite pubs in Portsmouth. I had an Old Brown Dog and my drinking partner, who wanted to be known as Teemu, had a porter. It was his last wise beer choice of the day.

Bar #7- Muddy River Smokehouse- I had Guinness (or three) and Teemu had some sort of gawdawful cream ale, maybe a Boddington's. This place has great food, by the way.

Bar #8- Fat Belly's I had a Guinness (or three) and Teemu had a horrendously horrible blueberry flavored beer. I should mention that we got the bar manager to flip through the tv stations while we sat, and we convinced him (and everyone in the bar) to watch Alone In the Wilderness, the great PBS movie about Dick Proenneke, who went to Alaska to live by himself. (Yeah, The PGA Championship was boring and the only baseball on was the Diamondbacks against the Braves).

Dick Proenneke's Cabin

Bar #9- Portsmouth Gaslight Company- We rounded out our mini-pubcrawl at the lovely Portsmouth Gaslight. I had a Guinness (or three) and Teemu ordered a Pabst Blue Ribbon to keep his streak of fantastically bad beers alive. This place has awesome pizza, by the way.

So there you have it: America's new craze, drinking with the Idiot. A good time was had by all and no animals were injured during the filming of this episode. If, by chance, you want to get a head start on America's next craze, Dick Proenneke, click on the link below and order yourself the DVD from Amazon. (The Idiot Family will even get a cut, so order two or three and give them out as gifts!)

Click on the picture to order the video, it's almost as fun as drinking with the Village Idiot!


The Villiage Idiot Brother In-Law said...

Hharrrummmph! Boddington's is anything but a "cream ale"; it is a fine Mancunian "Pub Ale". It's absolutely wonderful.

I'd even go as far as to say it's the second best thing to ever come out of Manchester. My sailing mate Rolie is the top of the list.

The British Isles produce more than that dreadful black dreck bearing Arthur's name. You should expand your horizons. And then try the fermented beverages of the rest of the old Commonwealth - Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and even Canada all produce fine brews.

But you must be careful. Don't explore too far as risk of a third child is too great. You must stay away from cider (Magner's Irish or otherwise). The VI's editor once confessed that 'cider makes her quite randy'. There are somethings that big brothers really don't need to know....

Teemu had a good thing going. And, exactly what's wrong with a fine Belgian Blueberry Lambic?

It's a very very bad thing when a wine snob like me has to step in and discuss beer...


Teemu said...

Thank you for coming to my defense. I quite enjoyed the Boddington's.

The blueberry concoction was, in fact, a Salty Dog Blueberry Ale, not a lambic, and the Idiot was correct to mock me for drinking it (but I'll try most anything once).

My final brew was not a PBR (on which Dennis Hopper has the final say in the movie Blue Velvet), but a Smuttynose Heffeweizen and a very crisp, enjoyable one at that.

I think my score should be adjusted to 3 out of a possible 4.

Next visit: vodka!

Lesser_Lumpkin said...

Aaaahhh vodka sounds more up my ally so I'll be watching closely the next post. Unfortunatly The Lumpy is now and has been for a while on the wagon. So my question is as follows. How is all of the going to pubs helping your campaign? Indeed the consuming and reporting of finely embibed beverages is a noble goal but as you are on your way to becoming king have you not also been doing some polaticing at the same time? You know shaking babies, smiling at gentlemen, and wenching? Wait scratch that last one. The editor would never allow it I'm sure.
If I'm ever headed up your way I'll have to toss you a line so I can come along for the ride provided you don't mind having a drink with a guy now on the wagon.

In regards to the risk of a third child through the use of cider my only advice is run. In fact my blog touches on that subject. Head the VIBIL's advice lest you end up in the same situation as the Lumpy.

The Lumpy

Lesser_Lumpkin said...

err that was Heed the VIBIL's advice. Darn it where is the edit button.

The Village Idiot said...

The Editor Proclaims Loudly that she never, ever, ever said anything like the comments attributed to her relationship with cider by the VIBIL. She also further clarifies that cider does not in fact have that effect, (which pains the Idiot greatly as he stopped on the way home yesterday and bought a considerable amount of cider).

Lumpkin- of course you're welcome, bring the wagon, the Idiot will use it for outrageous stunts after several quarts of Guiness, the finest product the Isles ever produced.

Teemu- glad you made it home safely, come back again anytime!

Y.C. Tape said...

When I was in New Orleans, I drank Abita beer, a localy brewed concoction. My room dogs thought I was wack! I found it, while darker than a light beer, curiously refreshing with a hint of lemon. Guiness is too dark for me, but I understnad the complexities of drinking for more than just a buzz. It is the Flava!