Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Hi Diddley-ho P.Diddle!

Didja see that P. Diddy changed his name again?

A brief history for those of you not as hip as the Village Idiot:
Sean Combs, who was a rap artiste back in the day, stopped using the name 'Sean Combs' and started calling himself 'Puff Daddy' many years ago. A while later, he got tired of that moniker and started calling himself 'P.Diddy.'
As of yesterday, he stopped calling himself 'P.Diddy' and is only going by 'Diddy..

I am not making this up.

Ned Flanders, noted P.Diddely fan

"I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer," Diddy said.
"During concerts, half the crowd is saying 'P. Diddy'--half the crowd is chanting 'Diddy'--now everybody can just chant 'Diddy.'"

Ok, I was all geared up to make fun of the man until I read that. You see, he has fans. I'm lucky if I can get my nine year old to give me a high five in public, let alone get a group of strangers to chant my name. Instead of hating the player, I decided to learn the game.

From now on, I'm dropping the first letter of my name too, so from here on in call me the Illage Diot. Don't diss the new name, friends, I went through many many rejected ideas before I was able to come up with my new most fly handle.

Here are some names for myself that I rejected along the way:

1. P.Diddly
2. Count Chockula
3. L.E. Vator
4. @
5. Pookie
6. L33t Playa
7. Nerd Boy (suggested by Mrs. Village Idiot when she read #6)
8. Ooooooh, that really smells! (also suggested by the Mrs., I'm not sure why).
9. Lumpy
10. Does this make my ass look big?
11. Inigo Montoya
12. Def Phat Blingmaster J
13. Ben Dover
14. Survivor Vanuatu
15. The Vanilla Swirl
16. Dog, the Bounty Hunter
17. Darth Something
18. Mr. Tibbs

Yeah, I think Illage Diot is the best of the bunch too.

Going back to the real Diddle for a moment, Sean had this to say about why he changed his name:
He confessed that his unwieldy name was even starting to befuddle him.

"I even started to get confused myself--and when I'd called someone on the telephone it took me a long time to explain who I was. Too long," Diddy told the New York Post.
"One word. Five letters. Period," he added.

Technically, of course, it's only three letters, with one of them repeating three times, but who's counting.

In the interview, you'll notice that he said "five letters. Period". The astute reader will have already noticed that I chose not to include a period after my proposed nicknames, though I did include a question mark with proposed nickname #10 and an exclamation point for #8.

In the end, Sean Puffy Diddly Combs is obviously an ass, but it's ok because he's given me something to laugh about all day long.
Personally, I prefer old school Diddley's:

Bo Diddley, who, ironically, thought about changing his name to Sean Combs


The Venting Housewife said...

Thats for visiting my page...I have to say I laughed my ass off at this post. I loved the "P.Diddely" of Ned Flanders. Too funny.
I thought the name "pookie" was just not right...but I think "mrs" I wouldn't dare call her mrs village idiot because thats just mean. I would just stick to Village Idiot (not saying you are one by any stretch though)

Lesser_Lumpkin said...

Mr. illage diot,

Wow. I'm flattered. I made it into the top 10. I beat out the cat and Mr Dover (who I must admit I hear an aweful lot about). I was; however suprised to see that V. Iddily didn't make it into listings.

Out of curiosity how much paint do you have to sniff for the letter P in a persons name to get between you and them? I suppose this is why I dont know of any Pats or Pamelas in the Rap world. Then agian I don't know any of the names of people in the rap world.

The Lumpy

Marti said...

hi illage,

(Hope it’s OK to call you by your first name.)

Seems like going by “Puff” would have been easier, but having a crowd chant, “Puff, Puff, Puff” at a rap concert, might not be such a good idea either – LOL!

The Humanity Critic said...

Just passing through, cool blog by the way.

Randi said...

that was a great post! glad i found your blog!!!! you made me and my coworkers laugh!