Monday, August 22, 2005

Kidney for sale: I need to fill up my tank.

Exxon Mobil earned $25 Billion in Profits last year.
Exxon Mobil earned $8 Billion in Profits in the last quarter alone.

As the BBC says: (put on a good British accent when you read this next line)
The firm's annual profit is higher than the gross domestic product of Syria.

Now, I drive a giant SUV that gets about 3 miles to the gallon and even has a special button I can push to dump gas out onto the highway when I feel like being especially wasteful. (Yes, we also got the feature that allows us to track down and run over endangered species).

Thus, I'm forbidden by contract to complain about gas prices, but sheesh, aren't we winning a war in an oil rich country? Those Iraqis must love us by now and would probably love to get us a deal on oil, eh? Didn't our President used to be in the oil business? Can't he get us a deal?

When I'm king, all cars will run on love, or flatulence, depending on which you have more of.


2 comments:

The Dude said...

Dude, if your car runs on flatulence then you can say you're out farting around!

Way Cool Blog!

Anonymous said...

No, our prez can't get us a deal because he is a ruttish beetle-headed hugger-mugger!

(yeah, I used the Shakespeare thing from your last post. My new favorite thing on earth).

Thanks!