Saturday, August 20, 2005

Bill that to Butt Munch

I loved the recent story about the lady that called to complain to her cable company, and the next bill arrived addressed to "Bitch Dog"

"I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said LaChania Govan, 25. "I was so mad I couldn't even cuss."

The even better story, though, was the guy who was getting his energy bill addressed to "Jeffrey Scrotum Bag Barnes," which Mr. Barnes says is not his middle name.

Any day now I expect that companies with whom I've exchanged lively and animated phone calls will start sending their bills to "ass-bag" or "total tool," which is cool because thenI can just hand them off to baseball analyst Tim McCarver.

As for the quality of insults, I'm totally unimpressed with "bitch dog," and only slightly amused by "scrotum bag". The employees, now former employees, would have done well to go to the Shakespearian Insult Generator and gotten some good words like "puny hedge-born pumpion" or "mewling earth-vexing coxcomb". Should they want a more political tone, they could have gone with the North Korean insult generator and called these people "bellicose bloodsuckers" or "psychopathological hooligans."

3 comments:

zazzafooky said...

Great post, especially loved the title!

Pacific College Mom said...

Dear Mr. Idiot,
Thanks for your comments and if you would be so kind as to run by my blog again, you will find my thanks are there, too. May I link your site to mine? Thought I should ask first.

Thanks again. Pacific College Mom

The Village Idiot said...

I would be honored.

Thanks,
the idiot