Can you tell I'm finally getting around to cleaning out my e-mail? Here's another chestnut that comes from some genius internet scribbler.
1. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
2. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
3. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
4. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.
5. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
6. There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.
7. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.