Crime May Not Pay, but Google Might!

Over the past week or two there have been a spate of stories about criminals who ran into some seriously bad luck.

Unlucky Bank Robber Pleads Guilty

Washington- Bank Robber Michael Donahoe, 53, robbed a Washington D.C. bank, but was foiled in his getaway when a witness blocked in the taxi Donahoe was using as his getaway car. As he was angrily trying to persuade the witness to move, the dye pack that a teller had put in with the stolen money exploded, covering Donahoe in red ink. This attracted the attention of two FBI agents who just happened to be having lunch nearby. They marched the inky Donahoe into the bank where witnesses identified him as the bank robber.

Indeed, that guy was unlucky. I think this guy might be cursed, however:

Fugitive hides in church, finds police praying
ROME (Reuters) - Gilberto Antonio Carnoale, 48, a man on the run from his house arrest, gave the police who were pursuing him the slip. Unfortunately for Mr. Carnoale, he slipped into a church that was full of police officers attending mass. The officers recognized Carnoale and arrested him. They did honor his request to hear the mass before taking him away, however.

Finally, I'd say that this is a case of divine intervention, because this surely sounds like the "eye for an eye" philosophy we read about in various religious texts:

Police Hit Man in Genitals With Taser
FORT MYERS BEACH, Fla. - Police accidentally hit a naked man in the genitals with a Taser after he was caught breaking windows and asking women to touch him, authorities said. Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, tried to run away when sheriff's deputies approached so one of them shot their Taser, said Cpl. Matt Chitwood. But one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Miljour's genitals and got stuck, Chitwood said. "The Taser is relatively accurate, but when someone is moving like that, it doesn't matter if you have a Taser, or a pistol. (Officers) can't aim," Chitwood said. Miljour was treated at a hospital before being taken to the Lee County jail. He was charged with indecent exposure, resisting an officer and criminal damage.

The sad thing about printing this story is that I kinda dread the weird search hits I'm going to get now that I have "taser" and "genitals" on the same page. If I could only think of a clever way to work in a "Pam Oliver" or a "Katie Couric Nude" into the sentence, I could probably put up some Google Ads and retire.