I Got Tagged with Seven Things!

I got tagged with the Seven Things Virus, I mean meme by The_Mrs. Here goes:

Seven things that attract me to my wife:
1. Unlike the others, she called it "dating," not "stalking."
2. Unlike the others, she thought that getting a restraining order was going too far.
3. She always has Doritos® Brand Tortilla Chips hidden somewhere in the house.
4. Her penchant for public nudity.*
5. I think her invisible friend Adrianne is REALLY hot.
6. Our common love of the early work of Doug E. Doug.
7. She puts up with my crap.

*I totally made this one up because her dad sometimes reads this idiocy.

Seven Things to Do Before I Die:
1. Grasp my chest and go "Arggggh!"
2. Look around to see who fired the fatal shot.
3. Glance scornfully down at my dog and say "Et Tu, Buttercup?"
4. Set phaser to "liquify" and blaze away at the villains.
5. Collapse gracefully like a flower wilting in the cruel August heat
6. Set my Tivo® so I don't miss the finale of Survivor
7. Say "Rosebud" and then watch the screen fade to images of my childhood sled.


Et Tu, Buttercup?


Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. See clearly now, nor can I see all the obstacles in my way.
2. Say "Get that goddamn piece of crap piano off my frickin' foot" in Mandarin Chinese, but I expect that any day now I'll find the fortune cookie that knocks this off my list.
3. Talk on a cell phone without getting "shouty"*
4. Believe the dumbass trades the Red Sox are making.
5. Figure out how to use the staple remover at work.
6. For some reason I can't stop thinking about tomorrow. I keep thinking that it'll soon be here, better than before, yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone. On a lesser scale, I also can't stop believing ever since I saw Journey in concert, I just have to hold on to that feeling. (Streetlight people are also somehow tied into this). Also, I can't fight this feeling anymore.
7. Understand what the hell people see in Paris Hilton.

*this is according to Mrs. Idiot and a small sampling of our friends. I'm still not convinced.

Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. I swear to God I didn't eat it.
2. I didn't know it would smell THAT bad!
3. Is this the sort of function where I have to wear pants?
4. That Oprah, she knows everything!
5. Dumbass
6. Whattaya mean I'm shouting? It's a bad connection!
7. Whoops!

Seven Books (or Book Series) I Love:
1. Blogging for Dummies
2. How to Rid Your House of Owls in 3 Easy Steps
3. That One with the Hobbits and Scary Bits
4. Does Sports Illustrated count?
5. Women are From Mars, Men Have a Penis
6. Anything by Oprah
7. Why Do Bassetts Smell Like that and other Big Questions

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:
1. Anything About Oprah
2. That one with the Hobbits and the Scary Bits
3. Caddyshack
4. Snow White and the Seven Samurai
5. Xanadu!
6. Naughty Housewives 9; Revenge of the Sith
7. Sixteen Candles

Seven People I Tag To Do Seven Sevens:
1. The Girl In Camouflage
2. Wiccachicky
3. SignGurl
4. Don't Miss
5. Blither
6. Coastal Cutie
7. (Insert Name here)*

I hate tagging people. Some people like it, some don't. If you wanted to be tagged, consider yourself tagged and do the dreaded Seven Sevens!