Concern about the deadly H5N1 strain of bird flu centers on scientists' fears that it may mutate into a form that passes easily among humans, sparking a pandemic that may kill millions.
Ok, that's plenty scary. I don't know what a "pandemic" is, but it's very close in spelling to the word "epidemic" and even closer to the words "that may kill millions". The article definitely had my attention. Here's the next paragraph:
Possible clusters of bird flu among members of one family in Indonesia have raised concern among health experts that this feared mutation may be happening.
Ok, I found that part terrifying, because if there's going to be a terrifying pandemic launched by some family, some horribly infectious strain of bacteria or virus that cuts down people like a knife through butter, I have no doubt that the god damned thing will get its start in The Teen's room. I don't even breathe when I walk past her room for fear that some year-old poptart and a forgotten science experiment have somehow bonded into a deadly vapor heretofore unknown.
My secret fear is that The Teen's room will soon go through one of those cosmic accidents that you read about in comic books. You know, the two and a half tons of clothing, make-up, junk food, cd's and techno-gizmos will have achieved some sort of critical mass and then get struck by lightning just as the Teen spills the critical ingredient, nail polish, onto exactly the right spot thus begetting some horrendous clutter monster that only kryptonite or Will Smith can dispatch.
We recently rented a bagfull of movies from Blockbuster. Three movies went into The Teen's room, but only two came out. I'm serious, the third one disappeared from the face of the earth. The monster stirs...
So, having seen her room, AND the younger one's room, which is equally funky and twice as gross, let me just apologize now for being the family that will launch the Avian Flu, or the clutter monster, whichever comes first.