As y'all can well imagine, my thirst for knowledge is unquenchable, so when one of my relatives recently moved to China, I immediately saw it as an opportunity to learn about that foreign culture. Below you'll find actual excerpts from actual e-mails I actually traded yesterday with this relative, who I'll call LeRoy.
As you will see, and as you might have surmised from my exploration of foreign languages in yesterday's posting, I am all about learning the important things that the world has to offer.
Idiot: Do the toilets flush backwards over there?
LeRoy: Toilets? You have traveled wide grasshopper....
Idiot: Ok, your response cost me a whole mouthful of Dunkin Donuts coffee, possibly a computer keyboard, and thanks to all the people who were here when Vesuvius erupted, a big chunk of my dignity.
LeRoy: You wouldn't be laughing if you were trying to take a dump over here....
Which was a response so perfect I'm still laughing about it. Thank you LeRoy. Hang in there, I'm saving up to have an American Standard sent over ASAP.