Did you see this story?
MIAMI - Pirates fired a rocket-propelled grenade and machine guns Saturday in an attack on a luxury cruise liner off the east African coast, the vessel's owners said.
Idiot artists rendering of what that looked like.
Idiots don't get out much.
Can you imagine it? Pirates on a real cruise? Cruises are like the cheesiest form of bottled entertainment ever, I think a little pirate action would liven things up considerably. "Avast ye naves, if'n I hear "Hot Hot Hot" one more time, I'll make ye walk the plank! And heed my word, ye mangy seadogs, if'n my grog be watery and cost more than two dubloons, it be Davy Jones' locker for ye."
Ok, here's the rest of the story:
Two armed boats approached the Seabourn Spirit about 100 miles off the coast of Somalia and fired as the boats' occupants attempted to get onboard, said Bruce Good, a spokesman for Miami-based Seabourn Cruise Line, a subsidiary of Carnival Corp.
The ship outran them and changed its course.
Outran them and changed course!? I hope it didn't upset the ping pong tournament on the lido deck, or the golf lesson on the promenade deck, or the limbo contest! For the love of God spare the limbo contest!!
Here's a great line:
"Our suspicion at this time is that the motive was theft," Good said, adding that the crew had been trained for "various scenarios, including people trying to get on the ship that you don't want on the ship."
You ain't kidding. They've kept me off several cruises. You see, I go to the art auctions just for the free champagne and at the buffets I always make a big mess and get the serving spoons mixed up. Those people are trained to spot troublemakers, so I'll bet they spotted the thugs with the rocketlaunchers from miles away.