Sunday marked the end of my three year campaign to become a NASCAR fan. I failed at the task miserably. They've just wrapped up an incredibly exciting season full of great racing and off-track intrigue. Apparently, to make it even more exciting, the championship even came down to the last race, with a handful of drivers in the "Chase" right down to the wire. Still, I just don't get it.
I've tried, in my usual half-assed way, to get on board. Mrs. Idiot bought me one of those Richard Petty experiences a few years ago and I got to drive a stock car around the track a few times. That was a lot of fun, and those cars are VERY fast, but it didn't take: I didn't become a fan.
The Idiot Racing suit inspired me. I've been wearing
nothing but highwater jumpsuits ever since.
I tried to pay attention to the last two seasons of racing, and even tried to watch a few races. A bunch of my friends have become huge NASCAR fans over the years and they try to help me pay attention and understand the races, but I'm usually sound asleep by lap 30. I mean it, there has got to be something wrong with me on this one. My Sainted Mother said that when I was a baby and wouldnt sleep, she'd often put me in the car and drive around until I dozed off. Could this have something to do with it?
Next year I'll try again, and I'll try again the year after that. I am determined to understand this. I mean, Calvin has been out there peeing on various NASCAR drivers for years. There's got to be something to it, eh?